It's been a while

Okay, more than a while. Like, a REALLY REALLY long time. At first my phone broke and I didn't feel like blogging because I had no pictures to show, but then I just got really lazy ahahahahaha.

Reason why I decided to blog today right now is because I broke up a ten and a half month relationship with my boyfriend. Let me repeat myself, I did the breaking up part, not him.

It all started when I logged on Facebook today and a friend posted a music video as her comment. 2NE1 - Go away is the song. As I was watching it reminded me of the situation with my first boyfriend. How he broke up with me, got together with another girl right after, and not physically but mentally hurt me.

Then I started to think about the current relationship I was in now. Unhappy, always getting mad at him, second guessing our relationship. I knew that we were going to break up some time soon, and that I might as well do it now.

Before I did it though, I was trembling, I was crying, and I was scared. Was this the right thing to do? Do I still care about him? Of course I care about him, I love him. But I can't allow myself to be unhappy anymore.

Though I always thought he would always keep me happy. When we first dated I never thought I was going to fall in love, and yet it just kind've happened. It was weird because at that time I didn't want to have anything to do with my love life, I just put it on pause. But as we kept talking he somehow found my play button.

Our relationship was like a happy upbeat song that felt like it would be on repeat forever. I was so happy. But of course the beginnings of relationships are always like that.

Lately, we barely talk, he wasn't being affectionate anymore, it felt like I was single anyway. I just felt so alone. Feeling this lonely I might as well be single anyway right? So, I made that happen.

This is no bitter ending though, he is still a very important person to me. We are friends that still talk non awkwardly. And I may be bawling out my eyes right now, but it won't be like this for long.





Jar full of hugs,
Kupo